The hits just keep on coming…..

Here’s another one that’s sure to cause a fecal vortex shit storm all over my social circle if I actually voiced it…..Children.

People have kids all the time. People call it “The Miracle of Birth”. There is nothing miraculous about giving birth. Or having kids. You don’t get a trophy, award, or special treatment because you did what you are genetically programmed to do. I’m not suggesting that people who don’t have kids should get special treatment either, but I would suggest that parents should consider the childless. They are likely that way for a reason. If one of your friends, in response to you telling them you don’t want kids, says “Oh, you will change your mind some day!” or “I just don’t know how I even LIVED before I had kids.”

My other favorite is “Oh! You think you’re tired? Try working all day and coming home to hungry kids!” For some strange reason, Mothers think that just because they farted out a few kids that there is NO POSSIBLE WAY for your day to be more severe than theirs because they have some screeching fuck trophies at home. It’s rude, inconsiderate, and makes perfectly normal people go absolutely crazy when they are dealing with Super Mom. Continuing that analogy, I am the goddamned Lex Luthor of Super Moms. I can’t exactly air this sort of business on my Facebook, because so many people I know have kids.

Now, I’m in the jam/electronic music scene. Lot’s of summer festivals that are full of incredible music. You show up on a Thursday and don’t leave until Sunday or Monday morning. Music usually goes from 10am to 4am. It’s a blissful, hedonistic, wonderland that adults can take part in. Yet, people bring their children. Festivals get labeled as “family friendly” and I really think it’s nuts. People get ::WASTED:: at festivals. Drug use is common, and most times, in the open. Why would people want to subject their children to this? I have seen toddlers and even younger during my travels. It’s irresponsible.

Amusingly, I feel the same way about dogs at festivals. I have a hard enough time feeding and watering MYSELF, much less a dog. I also love my dogs, and know they would be absolutely miserable at a festival. It’s hot, the music is loud, strangers are everywhere, there are other dogs…The list goes on and on. Wow…I really got off subject, didn’t I…With that, let’s get back in the correct lane.

Back to the kids thing. I could sit here all day and list off a slew of reasons why I think kids, and over zealous parents are a pain in the ass. Instead, I’d like to make a request of parents and parents to be. Just know that it’s absolutely possible to live a full, affirming life without having children, and suggesting otherwise makes you sound like an epic bell end. Please just understand that it’s perfectly fine for an adult to actively decide to not reproduce and be absolutely fine about it. Be smart with what you expose your children to. Children will mirror their parents, so if they are with you while you are getting fucked up at a music festival all weekend, or partying your asses off at the house, they will emulate your behavior.

This doesn’t mean that parents can’t have fun! They just need to find someone to watch their kids. Parents, friends, an actual sitter….Do what you have to do in order to prevent your kids from observing you in your indulgences.

I will also say, this doesn’t apply to all or even most parents. It’s really just the kind of person someone is. I won’t assign a percentage or anything like that, but everyone who reads this can think of a couple people they know that act like this. If you can’t….It could be you! 😉


2 thoughts on “The hits just keep on coming…..

  1. Tom says:

    I feel the same way about this and I have a two month old. I hated it when people felt the need to pressure me into having kids like they had any say in my life changing decision. I still have a hard time tolerating children, I love mine to death but that’s because he’s MINE. It definitely changed my perspective but I don’t judge people who don’t want children. I never think or say, “you wouldn’t want to bring life into this world?? You don’t know what you’re missing.” It’s nobody else’s choice to make someone have a kid but their own. I respect peoples decisions to want to accomplish things that they couldn’t with kids or just feel like it’s not their thing. That’s them. I was very hesitant to have children but now that I have one I thank every day he’s in my life. It is a hard job taking care of a child but it’s also a hard job taking care of ones self. I hate parents who have 2 or more kids (or even one) and tell me “don’t have kids”….seriously?? That’s like a smoker telling someone it’s bad for their health as they take a long, gratifying drag on their cigarette. Super moms annoy the shit out of me. Especially stay at home ones. I’ve been unemployed for a month watching my son and I wouldn’t say it’s been a hard job. I enjoy the shit out of staying at home with him all day. The lack of sleep is the hardest thing but you can always time it with their naps (p.s. Two month olds actually sleep ALOT). I’m ranting now on your rant. Either way, I agree with this post. Most “super moms” don’t even put effort into raising their children. I’ve worked retail where these little shit machines would run around the store and turn off the lights to the store and the mother would just laugh and say “oh he’s a pistol”. Take some initiative and discipline your fucking child. Also the music fest thing, yeeeeaaah that’s not cool either. Obviously they couldn’t get a baby sitter and their priorities are all sorts of fucked up.

    • Regarding the festivals, some of them think it’s just the best! The child can be free and run around! People are overall friendly and whatnot, but it’s still no place for kids in my opinion. It’s just not what I would want my kid exposed to. Huzzah to you, sir. Huzzah.

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