Here’s another one that’s sure to cause a fecal vortex shit storm all over my social circle if I actually voiced it…..Children.
People have kids all the time. People call it “The Miracle of Birth”. There is nothing miraculous about giving birth. Or having kids. You don’t get a trophy, award, or special treatment because you did what you are genetically programmed to do. I’m not suggesting that people who don’t have kids should get special treatment either, but I would suggest that parents should consider the childless. They are likely that way for a reason. If one of your friends, in response to you telling them you don’t want kids, says “Oh, you will change your mind some day!” or “I just don’t know how I even LIVED before I had kids.”
My other favorite is “Oh! You think you’re tired? Try working all day and coming home to hungry kids!” For some strange reason, Mothers think that just because they farted out a few kids that there is NO POSSIBLE WAY for your day to be more severe than theirs because they have some screeching fuck trophies at home. It’s rude, inconsiderate, and makes perfectly normal people go absolutely crazy when they are dealing with Super Mom. Continuing that analogy, I am the goddamned Lex Luthor of Super Moms. I can’t exactly air this sort of business on my Facebook, because so many people I know have kids.
Now, I’m in the jam/electronic music scene. Lot’s of summer festivals that are full of incredible music. You show up on a Thursday and don’t leave until Sunday or Monday morning. Music usually goes from 10am to 4am. It’s a blissful, hedonistic, wonderland that adults can take part in. Yet, people bring their children. Festivals get labeled as “family friendly” and I really think it’s nuts. People get ::WASTED:: at festivals. Drug use is common, and most times, in the open. Why would people want to subject their children to this? I have seen toddlers and even younger during my travels. It’s irresponsible.
Amusingly, I feel the same way about dogs at festivals. I have a hard enough time feeding and watering MYSELF, much less a dog. I also love my dogs, and know they would be absolutely miserable at a festival. It’s hot, the music is loud, strangers are everywhere, there are other dogs…The list goes on and on. Wow…I really got off subject, didn’t I…With that, let’s get back in the correct lane.
Back to the kids thing. I could sit here all day and list off a slew of reasons why I think kids, and over zealous parents are a pain in the ass. Instead, I’d like to make a request of parents and parents to be. Just know that it’s absolutely possible to live a full, affirming life without having children, and suggesting otherwise makes you sound like an epic bell end. Please just understand that it’s perfectly fine for an adult to actively decide to not reproduce and be absolutely fine about it. Be smart with what you expose your children to. Children will mirror their parents, so if they are with you while you are getting fucked up at a music festival all weekend, or partying your asses off at the house, they will emulate your behavior.
This doesn’t mean that parents can’t have fun! They just need to find someone to watch their kids. Parents, friends, an actual sitter….Do what you have to do in order to prevent your kids from observing you in your indulgences.
I will also say, this doesn’t apply to all or even most parents. It’s really just the kind of person someone is. I won’t assign a percentage or anything like that, but everyone who reads this can think of a couple people they know that act like this. If you can’t….It could be you! 😉